00:15am Peeka boo guess who LD is drunk but writing to you. So my fellow festive sharing friends I give you an outline for another off the beaten track version of the play. "The Nativity" alternative version draft. There's this gal called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?) She's not hitched or anyffink, but she's got this dude name of Joe. He does joinery and stuff. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazereth. 00:32am On a roll now ( work with me here folks) One day Mary meets this bloke called Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?' Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no slapper. I never bin wiv no one!' So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself. Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that. She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra welfare benefits an' that we are gonna get.' Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right' Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. ( so people wut ya fink abut LD n the new JC tales fro da cribs n all.) 00:53am I am so wrecked I need to get back to the oasis party. I so know them gallagers gonna cause trouble. 09:00am OMG what a party I feel like I have been kicked in the head by a mule. Oh yea I was recalls the "you look like a cross dressing hybrid offspring of a male donkey and a female horse;" comment now. Some creatures just can’t take a compliment. 09:30am Well wish me luck how was I suppose to know that the Hybrid Offspring was a fully trained roman legion "creature division", and that his owner is the nephew of the local high priest. wish me luck. 10:00am High fives to the three wise men inc. They had a lawyer down here within the hour. Cost me 12 Roman denarius but he paid the silver out of his own pocket. God Bless Mr Iscariot hes going to be famous one day am sure and the baby photos of young Judas were magical. 03:12pm Thank god for the afternoon break. Guess Maz n Jo have took the union meeting outcome to heart and decided to take it a wee bit easy on this poor 5:30pm I so need to change the ring tone on my blackberry This "Heavenly Choir" track is way too loud. Phone call from Big Al, seems stalker investigations are over. Turns out they are harmless hippies dressed as shepherds who follow big gatherings in hope of meeting famous people. 08:55pm Just received booking confirmation e-mail from Holiday Inn Bethlehem "2 rooms 2 nights december 24th" Gotta love modern technology this is gonna be a big gig so god help anybody who aint pre booked. Gotta go help jo massage maz's swollen ankles, think its punishment for my party antics, what can I say "once a party animal" always a party animal. 4 days to go,cant wait I hear they have great night clubs in Bethlehem.
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